Tommy’s Soccer season finished up this fall with a pizza party, trophies and other snacks. It was noon-ish and I was hungry so I had a slice just to take the edge of the hunger. There was a stack a Domino’s boxes and I reached down for a slice of pepperoni. As I chewed my first bite I realized that it was, yet again, an under cooked, doughy, bland, cheezy (spelled with a “z” because apparently there was no dairy involved), less than mediocre mess. I put it down.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I resolved that day that going forward, if I had a choice, I would never again eat Domino’s pizza. I’ll go hungry rather than eat that crap. You may not realize how difficult this is. In my delivery area, there is a Domino’s, a Papa John’s and several local chains. Domino’s has cornered the market for mass delivery because they compete on price. I should say they compete on price alone, since clearly they have not been competing on taste or freshness.

This means that at every PTA event, every after school event, every kid’s birthday party, every neighborhood pool event, there is a stack of Domino’s pizza. Our local franchise charges fifty cents less per pie than Papa John’s and so they get the business. My wife is on the PTA and I have asked her to please, please, please try to convince the rest of the PTA to buy some other pizza, any other pizza. She has tried, but the PTA is only moved by price point. Show me the money.

For the remainder of the fall and all winter, I have successfully and quite happily avoided Domino’s. It hasn’t been that hard, really. Rather than order out, I’ve made it a point to have “make your own pizza” night at home. Once in a while I’ll order Papa John’s, but it’s only a little better. Sometimes I’ll get a pie from our local joint, Mangino’s; that’s pretty good.

Recently, I heard an ad on the radio from Domino’s indicating that they were changing, that the dough would be herb infused, that the cheese would be different, that the sauce would be more savory. If I don’t like it, they’ll give me my money back.

Sorry. Too little, too late. Domino’s pizza has been so consistently bad that I’m sworn off it forever. I have walked out of that room and closed the door behind me.

What I find most interesting about the change in recipe at Domino’s is that it must have been REALLY bad for the entire corporation to make that change to all the ingredients required for pizza. It is tantamount to an admission that they were delivering crap in thirty minutes or less.

Good luck, Domino’s. I truly wish you good fortune. You’ll have to do it without me.