Dominion Fertility is running a commercial on the radio I hear every morning as I slog through the traffic on the DC beltway on the way to work. Every morning. It goes something like this:

“I know the economy is hard. But I need a doctor who understands my needs. I still want to have a baby.”

Then they launch into their spiel about how Natural Cycle IVF is the affordable option. The woman’s voice on the commercial is maddening, a whiny plea. I’m sure it was intended to be perceived as sypmathetic or maternal, but it comes off as plaintive and entitled.

I am amazed by the fact that a company is making a profit on this. Has it occurred to people that maybe, just maybe, if they are unable to conceive it is because they are not welcome in the gene pool?

And what about your needs? The commercial sounds to me as though its intended audience are the people for whom children are an accessory. The progression is thus:

  • Complete college
  • Complete grad school
  • Enter work force
  • Claw way up to middle management
  • Realize that you are now middle aged, probably over 40
  • Hear biological clock ticking.  Tick tock, tick tock…
  • Freak out
  • Throw money at the problem

Seems to me that the species has managed to propagate without the benefit of IVF, Natural Cycle or otherwise. Natural selection seems to have worked so far. My recommendation is to do it the old fashioned way. Back to basics. Now, get to it.

Snow, redux.

The snow fell. And fell and fell and fell. Feet of it. I live in the South. This amount of snow is not supposed to fall here. Our local municipalities are doing their very best to manage the snow and snow removal crews have been working for days on end. School has been out for over a week.

The main roads are now clear and have been for a few days, but the neighborhoods are still a mess. The road crews have been focusing on clearing school bus routes. There is simply nowhere to put all the snow that they are scooping up. Giant dump trucks line up behind frontloaders and haul it away. I have no idea where it goes but somewhere out there is a mountain of grey slush with more coming all the time.

We are simply not equipped to handle this amount of snow. I was driving home last night after dark on a Sunday evening and saw a Bobcat clearing a street in my neighborhood, one of the streets that school busses come down.
To all of my brethren in Northern Virginia: please remember how very bad it is on your street today when, in late June, you realize that our kids will still be in school on the first of July (Heck, maybe the 4th of July!).

Our regularly scheduled programming will continue soon, but keep in mind that we will all have to be flexible in order to get our kids through the rest of the school year with the requisite number of hours. Dance classes might have to be rescheduled. Sports practices might have to be moved around. The downstream effects of this snow will be far-reaching and pervasive.

Every one of us is going to be inconvenienced and none of us is special. We, all of us, will need to be patient and as flexible as possible for months to come. So close your eyes, take a deep breath and visualize a peaceful place. For me that place is sandy, and warm – next to a warm ocean. You will need to go there often in the coming months.

Here’s a movie documenting the addition going up. This is exterior only. Enjoy.

The Addition

Opportunity

The earth shook and the walls tumbled down. Tens of thousands are dead and a government that had a tenuous grasp at best was further marginalized. The only thing that kept Haiti’s woes from spreading is the fact that it is an island; there’s nowhere to go. By virtue of geography, the catastrophe is contained.

The people needed help and America, the greatest nation in the world, dug into our pockets and donated hundreds of millions to help. To help rebuild, to help stabilize, to help alleviate, to help feed… to help. When the shit hits the fan, Americans jump in to help. We’re generous that way.

But what now, now that the dust has settled and the bodies need to be buried? Now that the grieving can begin in earnest? Now, we work. And not just the volunteers, doctors and nurses, engineers and aid workers. It’s time for the Haitians to take a long look forward and envision what they want their country and their lives to be like in a generation. This terrible loss, this cosmic reset is an opportunity. Once the horrific job of disposing of the bodies is done, an opportunity of mythic proportion stands before the Haitians, as well as those who descended upon the island to help.

This is going to be hard work, work that the people of Haiti need to embrace, to own. We, the industrialized nations can project manage the rebuilding. We can organize the work and help to execute the plans, but this generation of Haitians must decide upon the goal; not the Haitian government, but the people. It must be more than simply rebuild. Rather than “rebuild,” Haiti must “build.” Build infrastructure, sewers, roads, telecom, electrical. This is the opportunity to vault into the 21st century, to leapfrog over the painful fits and starts of modernization.

When the tears have dried, the hard work must begin. Embrace it, Haiti. This is a one time opportunity. Reach for it. Own it. Envision a better future for your children and start to build it. Envision a greater future and start working toward it.

I wish you luck. Don’t blow it.

Will someone PLEASE tell Pat Robertson the shut the fuck up?

I was reading the news this morning and I ran across a quote from a Chinese official who says, “Hostile Western forces have never abandoned their strategic schemes to Westernize and divide us, and they are stepping up ideological and cultural infiltration.”

This sound bite sounds as though it could have been uttered during the Cold War; but no, it was this year. It seems that the more globalized we, all of earth’s inhabitants, become, the more insular some of us become.

America is the greatest nation on earth, a wonderful hodge-podge of people, cultures and society. It truly is the great melting pot. Sure, there are some tin-foil-hat-wearing isolationists out there, but by and large we all get along pretty well here. Ronald Reagan said it best when he said something to the effect that you can go to France and never become French; you can go to Germany and never become German; you can go to China and never become Chinese; but anyone from anywhere can come to America and become American. The diversity of our backgrounds makes us strong.

Part of the reason it all works is that there is no original American culture, per se. Everything was imported. We have a slew of northern European holidays, plus St. Patrick’s Day, Kwanzaa, Chinese New Year, Ramadan, Rosh Hashanah, Cinco De Mayo, All Soul’s Day, and so on.

The world becomes smaller each day. Poor nations want to join the rich ones, and rightly so. They should. But they also want to cling to the old cultural ways. They want the money but not the modernization that comes along with it. It seems to me that in order to join the modern world, more traditional countries will have to let go of some of the more stringent aspects of their culture. I don’t advocate wholesale abandonment of the old ways. Often, the old cultural ways developed over thousands of years and were effective in their time and place. But the social mores that worked in the hill country of near-Asia probably don’t have a place in a modern society.

To bring this back around, the Chinese official’s quote seems fearful of unbridled change and a movement away from the familiar into a new and unpredictable future. Change can be scary, especially if you have a billion constituents who may move in ways that the central government cannot foresee. But give the people some credit. We humans are creatures of habit. We’ll stick with what’s familiar and still manage to soak up the best bits of what the rest of the world has to offer.

China will still be China and the Chinese will remain Chinese, of that you can be sure. But culture is not something that can be force-fed. It’s more like a buffet where people will try things as they come along, keep what they like and discard the rest. There is no ideological and cultural infiltration. There is only progress’s inevitable march. Get on the bus, China. Have some faith in your people.

Tommy’s Soccer season finished up this fall with a pizza party, trophies and other snacks. It was noon-ish and I was hungry so I had a slice just to take the edge of the hunger. There was a stack a Domino’s boxes and I reached down for a slice of pepperoni. As I chewed my first bite I realized that it was, yet again, an under cooked, doughy, bland, cheezy (spelled with a “z” because apparently there was no dairy involved), less than mediocre mess. I put it down.

That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I resolved that day that going forward, if I had a choice, I would never again eat Domino’s pizza. I’ll go hungry rather than eat that crap. You may not realize how difficult this is. In my delivery area, there is a Domino’s, a Papa John’s and several local chains. Domino’s has cornered the market for mass delivery because they compete on price. I should say they compete on price alone, since clearly they have not been competing on taste or freshness.

This means that at every PTA event, every after school event, every kid’s birthday party, every neighborhood pool event, there is a stack of Domino’s pizza. Our local franchise charges fifty cents less per pie than Papa John’s and so they get the business. My wife is on the PTA and I have asked her to please, please, please try to convince the rest of the PTA to buy some other pizza, any other pizza. She has tried, but the PTA is only moved by price point. Show me the money.

For the remainder of the fall and all winter, I have successfully and quite happily avoided Domino’s. It hasn’t been that hard, really. Rather than order out, I’ve made it a point to have “make your own pizza” night at home. Once in a while I’ll order Papa John’s, but it’s only a little better. Sometimes I’ll get a pie from our local joint, Mangino’s; that’s pretty good.

Recently, I heard an ad on the radio from Domino’s indicating that they were changing, that the dough would be herb infused, that the cheese would be different, that the sauce would be more savory. If I don’t like it, they’ll give me my money back.

Sorry. Too little, too late. Domino’s pizza has been so consistently bad that I’m sworn off it forever. I have walked out of that room and closed the door behind me.

What I find most interesting about the change in recipe at Domino’s is that it must have been REALLY bad for the entire corporation to make that change to all the ingredients required for pizza. It is tantamount to an admission that they were delivering crap in thirty minutes or less.

Good luck, Domino’s. I truly wish you good fortune. You’ll have to do it without me.

From me to you. I sincerely hope your 2010 is tremendous. I don’t make New Year’s resolutions, but this year I do intend to cross more things off the list. The very best to you. Prost!

Little Drummer Boy, by a band I used to be in called Hip Check, with Bob & Brian. This might be Brian’s finest drumming moment. Plus the arrangement rocks. Enjoy.

Little Drummer Boy

Hi gang. Here is a little Christmas ditty to brighten your day. It was written by my buddy Bob, and we recorded it a decade ago. I think it still stands up. Enjoy.

Santa Claus (From the Syndicate)

Powered by WordPress | Theme by RoseCityGardens.com